As the years have passed, my family holidays and gatherings have changed. With Labor Day coming up, I have been thinking of the 3 day weekends from the past. I remember full tables, lively conversations by our outdoor fireplace in Door County, and the comforting presence of those who have since passed on or moved away. My father-in-law's recent passing adds another layer to this transition (He was such a force), and with our kids now off forging their own paths, this year’s trip to Door County will be my wife, my mother-in-law, and me.
It would be easy to dwell on what’s missing, to focus on the emptiness that seems to grow with each passing year. But life has a way of shifting, of showing me new perspectives (if I'm willing to look for them).
One of the positives in this smaller gathering is the opportunity for deeper connections. With fewer people, there's more space to truly engage, to listen, and to share. My wife and I will have a better chance to bond with her mother (who I have never been particularly close with) in a way that might have been more difficult in the hustle and bustle of larger family gatherings. We can share stories, reminisce, and perhaps even create new traditions that are meaningful to the three of us. I will TRY to be patient and a better listener.
Possibly another way to change the optics for me is to see this time as a gift of simplicity. Without the need to accommodate a crowd, we can slow down, appreciate the quiet moments, and fully immerse ourselves in the beauty of Door County. Whether it’s watching the sunset over the lake, exploring a new hiking trail, or simply enjoying a peaceful morning with coffee on the porch, there’s a certain freedom in a smaller, more intimate gathering.
While I’ll always cherish the memories of busier, more crowded holidays, I’m trying to embrace this new phase of life. But it is damn hard. Some Greenland Sharks friends tell me it’s not about replacing the old with the new but rather finding joy in the present, however it looks. Yet, I find it extremely difficult to be a present moment type of guy. Sometimes I feel like Clark Griswald at the Grand Canyon.
So, instead of sadness, I must choose gratitude—for the loved ones who are still with us, for the time we get to spend together, and for the chance to create new memories in this quieter chapter of our lives.
Let's see what next year will bring: Friends, Spouses, and maybe Grandkids! Present moment, John. Present moment.
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